A Tiny Reflection on Managing the Reality of Each Day

Not every day is a good writing day. Let me tell you about a particularly bad one and how these experiences are helping me internalize the importance balance and flexibility in every day.

The fourth of July holiday was not too long ago, and with that comes noise. Fireworks explode throughout all hours of the early evening and late night, scaring little Rio, sending him running for cover throughout the apartment. The explosions are loud and disruptive. Based on several conversations I’ve had with people about noise, the cops don’t seem to care. Days following nights like this leave most people sleep deprived and feeling tired. During the recovery period from such sleeplessness, my thinking suffers, and oftentimes, my writing suffers along with it.

This is Rio in his cat bed, assessing if the noise from outdoors is dangerous.

I still try to move my writing forward each day. I have not given up on maintaining rituals and routines because I thrive with them. But I am steadily building balance in several aspects of my life, especially for focused work and writing.

I aspire to hold rituals like those of Maya Angelou — balanced, measured, and deliberate. But, at times, my style feels less balanced and more chaotic, like those of Toni Cade Bambara. Notably, both Angelou and Bambara were prolific, incredibly talented writers, but Bambara might have been focused to a fault. Like Bambara mentioned in Claudia Tate’s book, Black Women Writers at Work, I sometimes overprioritize my personal and professional projects and underprioritize other aspects of my life. I put off styling my hair a lot of the time (because retwisting my locs takes literal days). I throw it into a bun in the morning and leave it at that.

I have a habit of placing work and personal projects over personal relationships. But after having just took a long vacation and visiting people I love, but haven’t seen in years, I won’t put off seeing my family and friends again (not for years), regardless of the projects that I have going on. Going forward, I will deliberately schedule balance into my life.

As I read Black Women Writers at Work by Claudia Tate, I see that Angelou maintained balance between her writing and personal life. Her typical schedule involved writing in the early morning in a hotel room, but she made some exceptions for gatherings with friends.

Most days, I get to bed quite early because I make a conscious effort to prioritize my wind down rituals to maintain my sleep health. The early morning hours uplift me. I try not to show up late for the sunrise.

A sunrise I was able to see during my vacation at Myrtle Beach, SC, near my hometown.

But we may have emergencies or special circumstances that affect the way we sleep and subsequently the way we think. Almost none of my closest friends are morning people — they are night owls. Many of them maintain later work hours, not early morning work, like me. When I visit my family and friends back home, they do try accommodate me, but I almost inevitably end up at some gaming spot hours passed my typical bedtime.

I have a lot of fun, and I take the time I need to rest and readjust. I schedule this time it in advance. And I come back to my writing feeling grateful for the people in my life and with a backlog of stories to tell.

Regardless of how I feel, I engage with my writing every day. I scribble ideas. I organize my writing notes. I pay attention to dialogue and potential scenes. I take notes on observations and conversations to build on later. When I have rested well enough, I take the building blocks of those notes to construct my prose.

I live a life that isn’t always as predictable and ritualized as I would like it to be. But I manage to write down something every day. I enjoy playing with writing fragments, and like Samuel Delany mentioned in Stacey D’Erasmo’s book, The Long Run: A Creative Inquiry, I am starting to look at those ideas as a wealth of opportunity instead of a burden. Because of that, I won’t waste your time or mine. I’ve got fragments to finish.